No mushrooms in Southern Ontario

In the last few days, an alarming number internet surfers have landed on my blog after searching for information on edible mushrooms in Southern Ontario. I would like to ease the troubled minds of these individuals right now. There are no edible mushrooms outside of grocery stores in Southern Ontario. None. Zero. Nada. Zip. Don’t even bother going out for a look. You won’t find any. Let me spell it out. Southern Ontario is a terrible place to go mushroom hunting. Ever since the edible mushroom blight of 2006, all edible mushrooms in Southern Ontario have either disappeared entirely or have been seen hitch-hiking to Quebec. As I mentioned in an earlier post back in the spring, Eastern Ontario and Quebec are both excellent places. I’ve heard North-West Ontario and Manitoba have their moments too. Here in Southern Ontario, though, I wouldn’t bother even trying if I were you.

I should also take a moment to remind you, gentle readers, that there are many species of deadly poisonous mushrooms in Southern Ontario. Many of those can be confused for the tasty edible kind. I don’t recommend you eat any mushrooms you pick from a Southern Ontario forest. The best thing to do if you pick some and you are not 100% certain what you have, is to give them to me. I’m willing to take one for the team and eat the ones I think are edible.

Finally, a special note to the guy who keeps doing searches for “King Bolete Map Southern Ontario” and “Porcini map Southern Ontario” and “edible mushroom hotspots Southern Ontario”,  I love your faith in your fellow humans, your confidence that if there were king boletes in Southern Ontario (there are NO EDIBLE MUSHROOMS IN SOUTHERN ONTARIO outside of grocery stores), someone would draw you a map to them.

Where’s the King?

Yesterday, someone landed on this little chunk of paradise after entering “King Bolete Ontario Map” in a search engine.  King Boletes are Boletus edulis. They have a number of common names, but you may know them best as Porcini – the little pig mushrooms. These mushrooms are available commercially in dried form, and are very delicious with strong earthy flavour once reconstituted. I read somewhere that many of the porcini available commercially are imported from China. Who knew?

It is wishful thinking to expect a King Bolete Ontario Map to exist, but given how tasty they are, I can’t blame the searcher for searching. Let me assure you all that I don’t have any such map. In fact, I’ve yet to stumble into a King Bolete spot. One day I will, and when I do, I will surely go to great length to disguise its location. Sorry about that friends.

However, if you happen to be the proud owner of what you believe to be a King Bolete Ontario Map, I know you will need help authenticating it. Just send it over here and I’ll check out all the spots marked on it this fall and let you know if it is a quality map or not.  This is a service I’m willing to provide out of the goodness of my heart.